Well...

Since I've been back it's been a real whirlwind of changes and emotions. I've quit my job and sold my car, ive started fresh.. But even through the thick and thin I still miss her. I can't help it, but what really doesn't help is the fact that she bailed on our friendship, because only was she a girlfriend, but a good friend too. So you can assume why I feel like shit:/

Either way there isn't anything more that I can do...

Am I still a dreamer?

I used to be a dreamer. I wanted to be a movie director, or a writer, or a politician. I wanted to be someone with power, and money. Someone who had a beautiful legacy and would be remembered forever.

Now it's the complete opposite. I want to adventure yes, but I want a family, and kids. I want to settle down with my love and live a simpler life. My kids will be my legacy.

Am I still a dreamer?

That creative itch

Feeling creative again. I've been writing and drawing and painting and wanting to film badly, Soon I'm gonna cave and actually do it. Oh and my new album is being worked on profusely as well.

I don't use this blog very often. I guess it's going to be kind of a segue away from everything else. So bear with me and don't call me crazy.

I love Portland. It is by far my favorite city, and trust me I've been to quite a few cities. I really can see myself living here. Settling here. Starting a career, raising a family. I just love Oregon!

Life

In the direction I'm headed right now, I'm in a better mind state than I was a few days ago. I'm always ansy, I'm always nervous, but I always bear down and get through whatever I have to.

I recently have been through a roller coaster of emotional changes, yet I feel more alive than ever before. Maybe it's because I seem to be in constant motion, always moving and working and trying something new. I haven't had a stagnant day in over a month. Maybe that's what I need. Some stagnant time.

Last week I presented myself as if I were on top of the world. I wasn't. At least not mentally. I just got a new job, I have good grades, an amazing girlfriend and I was soon to go on a vacation. Then things turned. I found out my car was fucked, I wasn't going to get the job, an my girlfriend kisses another guy. I can tell you right now that at that point in time, I wasn't only mentally troubled, but everything in my world had kind of given me the finger.

Now I'm better.